Running into Common Sense

I was in Borders last week taking a look at the limited supply of what they have left since they’re going out of business.  I appreciate that because a) I found 20 oz of Diet Cokes for 64 cents and b) I got 70% off some books.  One of the books I took a peak at was The Runner’s Field Manual by Mark Remy of Runner’s World.  Since I’ve been doing the running thing for awhile, I found a lot of this stuff common sense and somewhat amusing.  Some of what you’ll learn:

1. How to run (perhaps, the most basic lesson of running): Start running [by putting one foot in front of the other] and keep running. Congrats! You’re a runner!
2. Common, city threats to runners (the law ignoring biker, the crackberry addict better known as the big shot businessman who can’t take his eyes off his phone and the Tourists walking 5 across without any warning to when their stopping [I’m looking at you Chicago and Philadelphia])
3. How to deal with dead bodies-someone’s dead if they’re unnaturally still/ stiff with no color (why would they be sleeping in shrubbery anyways?); just remember not to poke them with anything- the crime lab won’t be too happy when it comes to collecting evidence
4. Garbage bags make great ponchos (cut out a head hole and 2 arm holes) and tube socks with the feet cut out make good armwarmers.  They’re cheap and you don’t have to worry about figuring out what throw away shirt you’re going to get rid of
5. Balaclava (knit hat that covers someone’s neck, head and chin in ridiculously cold weather) vs baklava (a middle eastern dessert dish).
6. The Runner’s Oath.  This, by far, is the most important thing out of the whole book. In case you don’t know what it is or haven’t memorized it yet, here you go

“On my honor I will do my best

To be a better runner;

To watch for cars, and increase my mileage gradually;

To run in the rain, without boast or complaint;

To not go out way too fast;

 To eat right, listen to my body, and,

one of these days, volunteer at a race’